Post Therapy Thoughts // Finding My Fire

I won’t lie to you guys, it’s been a rough going for me lately. With life and my anxiety reaching an all-time high last week, I decided to take the long Labor Day weekend for some much-needed self care and rest. Boy, did I need it. 

I’ve always had a problem with stopping. Taking the time to reflect and knowing everything will be alright in the “in between.” Over the entire holiday, my anxiety was triggered with fearful thoughts.

 

What if your writing isn’t as good when you come back? 

What if no one cares anymore? 

What if you stop relating to others? 

 

Swirling around my mind like a toxic milkshake, these thoughts overwhelmed me – but only for a little while. Therapy has taught me to be mentally stronger, so I know how to combat these irrational thoughts. Speaking of my fantastic therapist, I was beyond ready to have my bi-weekly session today. Getting emotional even on the drive there, I knew I needed to pour out my feelings.

Starting off the session explaining my day to day triggers and stressors, the discussion eventually turned to the topic that has been giving me the most anxiety: writer’s block. 

One of the reasons I decided to take this pause from the blog was because I was completely drained. Barely making out the words, I was sobbing even at the thought of saying I couldn’t write for Anxiety Erica – it’s everything. Why I come home excited, how I heal through my words, a safe space.

With an almost saint-like grace and wisdom, it was like my therapist knew that was the root of my issues. Her immediate response was to make the most of “me” time.

Embrace the pause 

 

“We must learn to be okay with, and embrace, pause time.”

Learning to completely stop is something I’m not good at. I will go and go until I can’t anymore – and I found out exactly what that feels like this week. It’s essential to spend time within ourselves and nurture the passion we have, rekindle the fire.

Whether that means staying in bed most days powering through a Netflix marathon, being around family and close friends, or even getting outside on a hike – do what you need to feed your soul. Reclaim your motivation.

 

Master the art of compartmentalization 

 

Writing has always been something I live and breathe. Not only a passion, but a purpose. It has been a goal in the past few years to make it a career, and with my current position being a Copywriter – I would say I can check off that to-do on my list.

Unfortunately, once writing became a daily part of my position, it turned from a passion to a chore. Where I once wrote about things that gave me fire, connection to others and authenticity, I was becoming completely drained from the “work” aspect of an entirely different form of the written word.

While I cried on the couch, feeling hopeless and like nothing would help me find my fire again, my therapist said these words:

“Just like we have different types of friends, we have several forms of writing too.”

Then, it clicked. Through the art of compartmentalizing, I could cultivate my fire again. When obligation and timeframe wanders its way into writing, the passion can immediately be sucked out. In order to find my fire, I needed to categorize my creativity, like so:

Work writing 

The creativity surrounding the writing I do during the day, i.e. Copywriting duties, any writing involving my work or company.

Passion writing 

Authentic, vulnerable and emotional words that I write whenever I feel inspired or motivated in life. It is where my connection to others starts, and ultimately – it’s for pleasure. 

 

The motivation to get up each and every day and slice out a piece of your soul for the world to read is fucking hard. Most people don’t realize the extent to which writers will go for authenticity and sometimes, a break is needed.

I’m proud of myself for taking this time to pause and reflect because now that I’ve rested, I’m quickly gaining back the energy and inspiration to hold my heart in front of you all again – finding my fire and coming home with my own words. 

 

 

Do you have trouble with writer’s block? Share your own tips on combating it in the comments below! 

10 thoughts on “Post Therapy Thoughts // Finding My Fire

  1. You’re therapist sounds amazing. 🙂 a break is always needed. While I commend some writers/bloggers for having the ability to write everyday, I find that I need to take breaks every now and then, even if I have a bunch of words scribbled on a notebook, every piece is special to me because it comes from deep within me. I never want it to feel like a chore and if it ever does, I need to step away for sometime. Your readers will always be here. ❤ I hope your anxiety alleviates a bit more, keep pushing. You're a very self aware individual which I believe is a good thing, keeps you progressing and makes you stronger.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, you are completely right about needing breaks. I’m learning they are essential for the best, and most rewarding, writing. Blogging is my passion, but just like everything else, it needs nurturing.

      You are such a sweet soul, thank you for the kind, supportive words. With each day, my anxiety has less and less of a burden on my shoulders. Baby steps. I look forward to your comments ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome. 🙂 As a reader and fellow blogger I like to provide encouragement as much as possible. Sometimes people forget that behind the computer screens we are human and we might second guess ourselves as writers and what content we put out there. Anxiety is a daily struggle but in a strange way, I feel like we learn some things about ourselves we might have never discovered without it. I look forward to reading more of your writings. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I just found your blog this morning while I was searching for encouragement and comforting words to “speak” to me and to the feelings I have had recently which are causing me a great deal of anxiety. Your expression of emotion jumped off of the page and brought a “zing” of recognition inside me: a feeling of comfort as I was reminded that I am not alone in my feelings and in my non-stop activity and expectations of myself. As I sit and contemplate my next steps forward this morning, this week, this month and this year, I know that I am only human – as we all are. Today I will make a conscious decision to follow your reminder of self-care and reflection (as well as the compartmentalization!), which I hope will then create the space for the “answers” I am seeking to present themselves. Keep up the great work, Erica! You are inspiring others along your journey and making us all feel human and connected. I am now your newest follower!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, thank you for this wonderful comment. It could not have come into my life at a better moment. I’ve been in a heavy, dark place for a few weeks and life has felt very emotional and coming back from taking a break from the blog has made me afraid I haven’t made as much of an impact, but these words. These words will get me through another day. Thank you for sharing, thank you for following, and thank you for resonating. I truly appreciate you and am so glad you feel less alone. Let’s weather this storm together.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are definitely not alone!!! I haven’t even been able to work on my blog since last summer, and that was meant to help me sort out my anxiety, my unrealistic expectations and keep me on track. These past few months all I have wanted to do is to hide under a blanket, eat, read or get lost in a movie instead!

        Liked by 1 person

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